your voice is nothing against the noise

so i just got off the phone with my ex boyfriend. we broke up a little over a year ago, after he'd been out of the country for five months. i don't feel like it was the right decision to break up with him, but it did allow me to go out with someone new, who introduced me to orthodoxy, which i adored from my first liturgy. the new boyfriend ended up becoming my godbrother when we were chrismated this past lazarus saturday. my ex and i were talking about getting back together after he gets back from india in about a year.

he doesn't love orthodoxy the way i do. he respects it. he has read some writings by archimandrite seraphim aleksiev and he is currently reading the orthodox church by bishop kallistos ware. his major stumbling points are the theotokos and the saints, and the invisible church versus the "institutionalized" church. they don't match up with his idea of how God has been "speaking" to him.

basically, and i hate putting it this way, we feel really strongly attached to one another. i can't realistically imagine marrying another person. is that totally immature?

i'd just like to get some feedback and opinions, not to be interpreted as spiritual guidance (of course i will talk to my priest about this), of how i should be looking at this, and what i should be doing. cos i'm pretty lost and distressed. merci beacoup.